Dating Requirements...

In my thirties I decided I need to take of myself and just be happy. I had the 10 items that I just couldn't comprimise. Now it's a decade later and when I was talking to a friend, he asked how I felt about dating again. Well, ten years ago, one of the things was I wouldn't date anyone younger than my brother (4 yrs difference), now it's no one older than my dad (20 yrs)!!! I'm dating him now!!! I now have one cardinal rule...No farting under the covers!!! Hang the rear over the edge and fan the covers.

Stuck in The Middle

So, I am having a generation gap moment!! This blogging stuff is new to me and my sister, who is only 2 yrs younger than me, does this well. A few months back, my friend added me to Facebook (It's like My Space, but you have to agree to have people you know on your "friends" list). I found out my boyfriend's grandkids are on and that's how we keep in touch from time to time. Well, that's where the generation gap came in...I THINK I'm IT!! The gap, that is. This morning, my friend emailed Kevin and told him to add his picture, so we spent the morning adding his friends and now he's playing with the website. I don't know how his grandkids are going to feel when they get his request to be added as friends because well...he's PaPa. I have been feeling like "THE GEN GAP" for awhile now. As Jackie, Kevin's granddaughter, puts it, I'm a NOLD (New, but Old). I guess that's cool, since she is letting me know I can hang with her too.

Home in Virginia

This is Smith Mountain Lake, VA on a normal summer evening. I moved here 4 yrs ago from California. I definitely moved here too soon, but I did meet wonderful people and my amazing Kevin. I finally found my calm.

Growing Within

Well, I did call this "Life in the 40's". Here I am. Divorced twice and better at being in my 20's than when I actually was 20 something. I was so serious growing up. I found out later that I was, very much so, still growing. I hid behind books, volunteer work, and being a tomboy to fit in and here I am now doing the same thing, but with pizzaz. I mean I literally I am more outgoing and available to everyone; I definitely don't hide. I had a funny reaction at my 20 yr reunion, a few years back. I either got, "You haven't changed a bit" or "You are so much more outgoing." I guess I didn't allow myself to be available. You know...to the world. As we all grow to accept ourselves, we learn it doesn't matter. Be happy with yourself and you can definitely give better to those around you. My sister with ten children...I use to be jealous because I wanted children so very badly, but you know she and my brother did give me children in my nephews and nieces. I also have the best sister-in-law and brother-in-law. Just watching them through all these years is beautiful. They love those children and it's easy to give to them.
Watching them taught me there is so much more to happiness when you find your own own. After that, it's easy to share to those around you.

My foundation of my life...CONFUSED!!!

My 92 yr old grandfather was amazing; Pearl Harbor Survivor, patriotic, an icon of what was really a pure American, and most of all, showed us the meaning of unconditional love. My grandmother is, well, interesting. Her world was revealed to me when I entered the real world I live in now. My mother was the best mom growing up and Dad and I joke that we grew up together. I had a very young grandmother (38 when I was born) and a young father, that lived the first two years of my life off and on in the "jungle". I only knew my American grandparents. As for my heritage, my American side of the family; Grandpa was Polish and Grandma was the typical melting pot. Yes, I grew up with Kielbasa and Soy Sauce.

Where do I go from here?

Well, life is never easy, but one can find humor in the little things. I am 41 and finally I hit the moment when it I even cared. They say a woman finds herself later in life and it is so very true. Even if I didn't lose my identity in raising children or in the men I had relationships, I am definitely a more secure human now. Unlike most women, I didn't have to wait till the kids leave home or the husband to complete their 10 yr. training for being married to contemplate "Who am I"; I did have to face "Where do I go from here?" I did learn quickly to live for the now and not for the "Ifs". If only...If they...If he...If GOD... "Ifs" leave you in lingering situations that doesn't get you to solutions to live your life. Find the most positive part of you use it to change the negative things that life sometimes give you. Change won't happen in specific time period, but it will happen faster when the "If" factor isn't in your way.